Chocolate Milkshake
by Hana Rui
Summary: OnHold What happens when a gorilla and a fox hook up together in an affair that no one has ever deemed possible? Will it be the end of the world for both of them and for all of us? or will it be the start of a perpetual romance? Pairing: AkaRu...
1. Prologue

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Disclaimer: Nobody's mine... I wanna claim Ru but who knows what Gori might do to me? *grins suggestively while dodging a potentially deadly gori punch*

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Warning: Yaoi... YAoi... YAOI! If you're not scared yet, then do proceed, brave soul... ^-^ 

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Title: Chocolate Milkshake

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Author: S.G.O.

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Rating: PG-13 / R at some points ^_~

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Genre: Yaoi / Drama / Romance

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Pairing: AkaRu

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**PROLOGUE**

For about the hundredth time since they got together, Kaede Rukawa found himself marveling at how sharply, yet suitably contrasting his skin was to his lover's. His pale hands gracefully traced the plane of the gloriously tanned back as a trail of deep, suckling kisses winded languidly from his neck down to his deeply heaving chest. Yes, their skins were a perfect match indeed. Very much like chocolate and milk...

A moan of pleasure instantly grated his throat as he felt his lover's unduly manipulative tongue circling the tip of his nipple. Damn, how he loved it when he did that! An almost intolerable amount of libido rushed through his veins as a heavy hand went up and caressed his other breast, teasing it consummately to hardness.

He whimpered and wiggled under the imposing weight above him, feeling dizzy and about ready to burst from all the sensual delight he was being bestowed with. His survival instinct cried for an immediate escape, but his oozing sexuality was rapidly weakening his systems. He didn't have any other choice but to give in as a pair of stalwart hands held him roughly in place. His lover's soft and wet pink organ glided ravenously from his chest to the whole expanse of his abdomen. Then, shortly went down to his groin and proceeded to work on his already erectile member.

Rukawa's body trembled with desire as a whine of delight broke free from his throat. He let himself surrender to the rousing moment as his senses wholly drowned in bliss...

**-----------0-----------**

"You still cold?" the low soothing voice made the raven-haired guy's ear tingle. He cuddled closer to his heavily built lover and was pleased when the fairly tanned arms immediately wrapped protectively and lovingly around him. "Better?"

He simply murmured in reply as his eyes gradually fluttered close, his mind consequently dwelling on affectionate thoughts about his koi. Takenori Akagi--his senpai, former captain and ardent lover for about a year now had never really failed to make him feel safe and comfortable. Cared for and loved. He had never felt this kind of warmth with anybody else before. Not that he had ever let anyone get this close to him prior to this blissful affair he's now covertly sharing with the superficially intimidating yet emotionally wheedling inamorato...

Nobody had ever made him feel so important. So close to being human. He may still be the same old scowling snob in public but when they were together in all their glorious privacy, Kaede Rukawa's face was all out susceptible to all other kinds of expressions and emotions--happiness, delight, contentment, and even pain. Only one guy was ever able to do this to him. Only one person understood the person that was him.

Only his Take-chan...

The heavy rain outside was gradually subsiding, but Rukawa was hardly aware of anything anymore as he unconsciously drifted off to unconsciousness. Needless to say, the foxy lad was contented with tonight's heated session, as he had always been ever since the night they first indulged in such activities. His lover had always left a sated feeling in him, yet kept him longing still for another such engagement...

He loved what he was feeling right now. He had always loved the excitement and satisfaction it brought. But most of all, he loved the person who had been administering it all.

"Oi," the call sounded blurry and distant, yet was able to barely pull him back to wakefulness as it was consorted by a series of soft slaps on his cheek. "Kaede," it was rather demanding and seemed to superimpose an impatient threat. He opened his sleepy eyes a little and peered through his long, fluttering lashes, straight into the other guy's affectionate blue orbs. "Rain's subsided. I'm going home."

His eyes shut close again as he instinctively and disapprovingly coiled a pale arm around his lover. He pressed his body closer to him and whined in protest. He consequently felt a set of hefty fingers tenderly caressing his face.

"Haruko's all alone in the house," Akagi stated as he fondly brushed a hand through his beloved's raven locks. "Besides, we can't have your parents seeing me here in the morning." He planted a deep kiss on the groaning guy's forehead, freed himself from the possessive arm and stood up to gather his clothes from the floor.

Rukawa watched on quietly as his lover donned each piece of clothing with utter urgency--like he couldn't wait to get out of that place. What was he worrying about? His parents? _Damn!_ was all the thought that crossed the kitsune's mind. His parents had hardly ever been home, and tonight they were supposedly enjoying themselves socializing, drinking, and boasting of their riches in some elite family's late night party. Why would his lover care about them when he himself didn't? And so what if they saw him in the morning? Rukawa was betting they would simply scrutinize Akagi from head to foot, then walk straight to their room to sleep all day in preparation for yet another nocturnal party. Damn these socialites! Were they even aware of his existence?

The king-sized bed rocked under the gorilla-like guy's weight as he sat down on one edge to put on his socks. Rukawa gulped down the lump that instantly rose to his throat at the sight of his broad shoulders. He was already missing the warmth of that tanned rigid body against his. He pulled himself up to a sitting position and hugged his lover tightly and lovingly from behind. Pressing his face on his back, he whispered a plea that he hoped could somehow sway the decisive guy's resolution. "Tomatte kudasai..." It had never worked in the past, of course, but he kept on trying anyway.

"Kaede, you know I can't stay!" Akagi's voice was now bordering on impatience. Rukawa wheezed as a massive pair of hands clasped firmly around his arms and hauled them off rather roughly. He wasn't able to keep the pained look from marring his face and didn't put any effort to hide it either, even as his lover stood up and turned to face him. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hn," Rukawa grunted before slumping back on the bed, consequently turning a cold back on his so-called lover. The damn guy didn't even care to kiss him goodbye. Some lover, indeed!

Tears of frustration, disappointment and bitterness fought their way to his eyes, but before they could even cascade freely down his cheeks, he felt the thick, warm lips of his lover on his nape. His own lips were suddenly irrepressibly hungry for the touch of him. He strained to twist his head around and their lips instantly met in a passionate kiss that caused a feeling of un-satisfaction to well up inside him once again. His equally aroused lover remounted him and showered his bare flesh with the same honey pleasures that had excited all of his sexual nerve endings just a while ago.

They were immediately engrossed in their own little activity--their own little world, that none of them was able to sense the coming of unexpected and very much unwanted entities. Even the cautious creaking of the door escaped their ears as well as the loud gasp that tore from the finely dressed woman's throat as the most unnerving sight mercilessly assaulted her feeble senses.

Oblivious to their newly arrived audience, the two guys kept on pawing and lapping each other up until an angered exclamation finally boomed through the room. "What the F***!!!" The two young lads, both bewildered and astounded by the sudden intrusion, stopped their revelries and stared at the equally shocked middle-aged couple at the doorway. Anxiety and embarrassment instantly flooded each guy's nerves as their brain slowly processed the fact that they've just been found out--caught in the most stigmatizing act--

"What is the meaning of this, Kaede?" the fuming old man demanded, his head almost literally steaming like an overworked engine. The elegant looking woman beside him simply sobbed and stormed out of the room, crying like all hell had just broken loose and was chasing after her.

Rukawa simply kept quiet and closed his eyes tightly, summoning more guts to keep him through this unanticipated confrontation.

"Mr. Rukawa," he heard his lover sputter beside him. "I... I... I can explain."

"OUT!" Mr. Rukawa barked. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!"

At this, Rukawa's eyes snapped open as his uneasiness and anxiety was suddenly flooded by irritation and wrath. "Damn," he hissed as he sat up, instantly clasping a firm hand around his lover's wrist and pulling him back down on the bed. "I let you mind your own business, scat off and let me mind mine!" 

"Kaede," Akagi whispered reprovingly.

"Dammit, you!" Mr. Rukawa snapped, shaking in his post yet still unable to take a charging step. "If that... that... SHIT stays for another minute, I swear, Kaede! I swear I'll kill him!"

"Dam--" the string of curses he was just about to use to lash at the meddling old man was cut short by a disapproving finger pressing firmly on his lips. The look of anger melted into a quiet questioning frown as he turned his eyes to his lover's affectionate blue-colored ones.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered with assurance.

"What tomorrow?!!" Mr. Rukawa cried, hands clenching in furious fists as his body kept its enraged tremble. "There's going to be no tomorrow! You're not seeing my son again, you BASTARD! NOW OUT!!!"

Rukawa put on his impassive mask as he watched his dejected lover--head bent and gait steady yet a bit cautious--walk out of the room. His father regarded the imposing guy with a disgusted look even as his 197-cm frame walked pass his frail 178-cm one. The young Rukawa had honestly never expected this kind of reaction from his parents. Never. He would've liked it better if they had just shut up and left him alone. But, no! His so-called father had even found all the guts to call his lover names! Resentment was still welling up within the foxy lad's heart, but he knew there was nothing much he could do at the moment. What with a mere blanket covering his stark-nakedness--

"We'll talk tomorrow," Mr. Rukawa said in his most threatening voice before pulling the door close with an angry bang that lingered in the young Rukawa's ears for about a minute or so. It was that loud and deafening. But nothing could rival the thunderous silence that echoed through the room when he realized that despite all his efforts to make his lover stay, he had ended up alone after all.

He closed his eyes tight and tried to divert his thoughts to other things... And found himself marveling once again at how sharply yet suitably contrasting his skin was to his lover's...

Like chocolate and milk...

**==tbc==**

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A/N: I really don't know what prompted me to write this. I was just so suddenly plagued by thoughts of Akagi and Rukawa being together so here I am again with another off beat pairing--nyahahahahha!!!! I cannot ignore the special treatment that Akagi seems to be showing Rukawa. Why, he hardly ever gori-punches that lad! Nor argues with him all that much! It may be out of respect for his basketball prowess and all... but then again... ^-^

And also, seeing as it is a potentially perfect day for AkaRu… (4-11... April 11) Maa... Akagi deserves to be happy with someone once in a while, ne? 


	2. Chapter One: Hold Me

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A/N: OH MY…! Thank you thank you thank you so much for the warm reviews y'all had left for this fiction! I never really expected y'all to be so open to the idea and the feedback was so overwhelming that I got hooked on this myself! [what? s.g.o. not really hooked from the beginning?] Hahaha… honestly, I was having some uncomfortable feelings about imagining the two of them together at first, but I just, well, got kinda used to it, after reading what y'all had to say about it! Hahahaha!!! I'm really weird… don't mind, don't mind ^___^ *huggles everyone warm and tight*

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CHAPTER ONE: HOLD ME 

He could still remember the pain and the unbearable desolation as though it happened only yesterday…

It was his fault for loving her to the excess, but how was he to know she was only toying with his feelings? How was he to know it would all come to this? That the girl he had so generously given his love and full devotion to would end up being the bitch who mercilessly trampled and crashed his heart into shards of despair… Of what he thought was an irreparable ruin.

"A bar?!" he practically cried into the phone two nights after the agonizing break-up. "Mitsui, are you out of your mind? Y'know that's the last place I'll ever think of going to even if you drag me up in chains!"

"Hey, that's a pretty cool idea," the guy on the other line remarked in mock enthusiasm--as though he had just found out the answer to all of life's mysteries. "Y'know, we just might consider doing that."

"Baka," was all he was able to say as he felt the urge of slamming the phone down rush through his veins, yet was unable to conform to it.

"Oh c'mon, Akagi, don't be such a goody-goody @$$hole!" Mitsui chortled, amply stoking the fire of his wrath. "You need to go out once in a while and get a life!"

"I don't have a life anymore, okay?" Akagi snarled impatiently, gripping the receiver so hard he nearly cracked it into halves.

"Or so Kimi-chan has told me." 

He had to remind himself rather uneasily that Mitsui's "Kimi-chan" happened to be his classmate and long-time buddy Kiminobu Kogure. _Yes, Akagi, a GUY!_ He always would cringe at the mere thought of it, having believed himself straight and all. Heck, he even thought he liked the boyish manageress Ayako--who now happened to be Hanamichi Sakuragi's domineering girlfriend--for quite a long while. Now, who would've expected those two to hook up together?

Who would've expected him to hook up with _that guy?_

"I'm not going," he said calmly, subsequently igniting a series of disappointed whines from the guy on the other line. "And don't force me!" he added with more force and emphasis to make his point clearer than clear.

"Sheesh, don't turn yourself into a hermit now just because of that bitch!" Mitsui's tone was now harder, angrier. "DAMMIT Takenori Akagi! Here and we try all our best to cheer you up and you wouldn't even help yourself! Loosen up, will ya?!"

Akagi sighed loudly, roughly. "I would, but not in a bar." _And not with the two of you, for that matter._ He really didn't have anything against a guy-guy relationship, but… It's just that he felt a little too uneasy at the simple thought of it that he was rather afraid the uneasiness might deftly turn to shame once he **_actually_** saw them together.

"C'mon," Mitsui coaxed on. "I'm sure you're gonna meet someone new there. Or if not, you can just go and enjoy yourself with old acquaintances. There are many of them frequenting that place. Maybe you can even share a drink or two with your old rival, Jun Uozumi, eh?"

"No," he hissed, swearing to bash this certain guy's head to pieces the very next time he saw him. Damn, he may not be as attractive as most, but he wasn't THAT desperate either!

To add in his annoyance, Hisashi Mitsui even found the guts to laugh out loudly. "We're not gonna try to pair you up with him, baka! He's already taken!"

"And I'm almost afraid to ask by whom," he all but grumbled.

"Sendoh. Akira Sendoh. Shocking isn't it?"

Akagi's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his bean as the blow rendered him speechless for a few seconds. He found himself wondering how many more of those guys he always thought were straight had actually hooked up together…

"There are also women there, if you like," Mitsui, probably sensing his discomfort--and well, at last!--added. "So?"

"No," he replied, still a little too harshly nevertheless. But this "no" was shortly turned into a rather forced "All right!" when Mitsui passed the phone to Kogure [he didn't want to even think about what they could be doing together in one place] and his expertly cajoling buddy worked his irreversible and so-damn-irresistible magic on him.

And so, the very next night, he found himself moping over a bottle of beer in one corner of that slightly dimmed bar filled with different kinds of human species--bi, gay, straight… you name it and the place sure as hell had it.

He took one last gulp of beer before slamming the bottle a little too roughly on the table. He had actually intended to sort of break it and was a little disappointed when it didn't even crack. He didn't really need it anymore anyway since he already felt dizzy from the lights, the sounds and the sights of that place. Its general ambiance nettled him, suffocated him while at the same time nearly lulling him to sleep. He felt as drunk as a man who had been drinking the whole night when he hadn't even finished a single bottle yet.

And DAMN! Did he just see Sendoh mauling that short, brown-haired guy who used to be… what was the name of that school again? Shoyo. Right. That ex-playing-coach from Shoyo whom he once thought was too beautiful to be a guy! Heck, he didn't know what he was thinking at that time! He must've been a little off or something…

And speaking of off, Akagi turned bug-eyed when his brain slowly processed the actuality of what he was seeing. Sendoh was _indeed_ mauling that guy up. And, what were they doing, for christsake? They were madly lapping each other up and… and… That hedgehog even had his hand inside the other guy's pants. _What the--_ his mind cried out in shock as he was instantly numbed all over and yet was unable to pry his eyes from off that shameless couple making out in the middle of the bar. And he thought Akira Sendoh was already with--

"Hey," the low, amiable greeting was instantly followed by a gargantuan being looming before him and blocking his view of the bar's latest spectacle that he was left with no other choice but to snap his eyes up to the imposing 2-meter frame of…

"Uozumi," he mumbled, suddenly feeling discomfited by the mere presence of the guy who could easily pass for his big brother.

"Can I join you?" Uozumi asked, slumping down on the seat opposite from him before he could even think of whether to nod in agreement or shake his head 'no'. "So, it's been a while since we last saw each other. How are you, Takenori Akagi?"

"Uh, I've been fine," Akagi nearly stammered as the jitter charged him up completely from head to toe. A great part of this uneasiness was due to the fact that he had just been watching this guy's supposed _boyfriend_ humping up another guy and-- He suddenly found himself searching for a trace of sadness… of bitterness in that face that had always been likened to his and was a little amused to find none. The guy was even grinning widely as though he wasn't aware of what was currently happening behind him… 

"Akira's kinda busy, eh?" Uozumi said, shifting in his seat to stare at tonight's star couple. "Damn, and he's enjoying himself, too," he mumbled before casually taking a sip of red liquor from the half-filled wineglass in his hand.

"You don't seem to be bothered in the least bit," Akagi remarked at a venture, keeping off the sympathy welling up in his heart from touching his voice, and that which was immediately dispersed by Uozumi turning to him and chuckling nonchalantly.

"That meddling Mitsui's told you, ne," he asked to which Akagi simply shrugged and grabbed his bottle to gulp down more strength to get him through this. Uozumi sighed and, turning his eyes back to the licentious display of un-patented affection, stated rather cheerfully, "That libertine can't stand a minute without kissing somebody and grabbing a resilient @$$ that I let him run around after someone else once in a while." Akagi nearly choked on his drink and decided to spare the rest of it for his own safety as Uozumi went on, "Anyway, he would always be running back to me whenever he needs someone to warm him up, so… He could go both ways, y'know… He can be top or under…"

Akagi's grip on the bottle tightened as he fought off the urge of smashing it into that big monkey's sorry face. He didn't know why this guy was telling him all this like he gave him permission to. Well, okay, and so he did intrigued him and induced him to speak up. And hell, he must admit he did want to find out the deal, too. He just didn't expect it to be this… er… absurd.

"HECK!" Uozumi chortled on after sipping more of that red liquor that looked like strawberry juice to the non-alcoholic Akagi. "He was even after Rukawa a while ago, but that snob only snarled at him and pushed him away!"

"Rukawa," Akagi muttered, suddenly perking up at the mere mention of the name. He was here. That guy he had been so fond of ever since… ever since… GOD! This was the last place he had expected to see him in. _What is he doing here?_

"Don't crane anymore," Uozumi told him teasingly before pointing to the door. Akagi, having been made aware of his unconscious reaction instantly blushed as he slowly put his bottle down on the table. "I heard him tell Kogure he needed some fresh air." Then, turning to him with a wide mocking grin, the big, slightly tipsy ape added, "I didn't think you fancy that snoot, though, Akagi. Then again, everybody fancies him anyway…"

"Shit!" Akagi snarled, pushing his chair off a little too violently before angrily jumping up to his feet. "It's not what you think, okay?!"

"Sure, sure! Whatever…" Uozumi mumbled, standing up himself to probably find a new, innocent soul to annoy.

Akagi snorted and almost literally flew toward the door in his eagerness to get out of that place--and utter delight to have found a good excuse to actually do so…

He found _him_ at the parking area, leaning against the bumper of a white Mercedes and looking up dejectedly at the star-speckled midnight sky. This was exactly how the guy had looked when he saw him at the park about a month ago. When he first comforted the guy who had finally opened up to him and even ended up crying in his arms. That was when he knew he had seen the real Rukawa. That was when he grew so fond of the guy and had since then thought of him as a younger brother--

How was he to know their relationship would go even deeper than that?

"Hey," he greeted in a soft voice so as not to startle the glazed guy. He leaned on the bumper beside him and managed a smile when the foxy lad turned a rather delighted look at him.

"C-Captain," he said, his lips quivering in a hesitant smile. This kid had never really gotten over his habit of calling him 'Captain' even after almost a year of his retirement from basketball. And he actually liked hearing that… Sort of spoke of the intimate respect the younger guy had for him.

"What are you doing out here?" Akagi asked affectionately, almost like how a father would to his son, as he turned his gaze to the random patterns of sparkling dots contrasting with the dark firmament.

He heard a soft sigh from the other guy and was a bit stunned when he said in a mere whisper which was so full of affection and sympathy that he almost couldn't get himself to believe the foxy lad had actually said it.

"I heard."

Akagi turned to look at the younger guy and was instantly swallowed by the warmth he saw in those beautiful blue eyes gazing intensely back at him. He almost felt like crying but realized the tears now refused to come. It was just nice and comforting enough to be there with someone whom he knew could understand him more than anybody else.

"She's a bitch. Forget her."

Akagi couldn't help but smile at the authority manifested in that small, quiet voice. "I'm trying."

Rukawa once again turned his gaze up to the stars. "You didn't tell me." 

"I didn't want to bother you," Akagi said, darting his eyes to the small eddy of dirt and dried leaves swirling on the ground. This guy had never really been fond of asking questions. He would either state or accuse instead of asking 'why', 'how' or 'what'… He found it both amusing and disturbing, though had somehow learned to just put up with it. "I know you've got your own troubles to worry about." There was no reply from the other guy. The eddy dispersed after a while as Akagi decided to tread on a new topic to break the silence. "How's the team?"

"The team's doing fine," the guy all but mumbled, eyes still stuck on the vastness of space.

Akagi stared at him for a long while before asking quietly, almost cautiously, "And how about the Captain?"

"The Captain," Rukawa wheezed and turned his gaze down on the cherry blossom tree to his left. Right then and there, Akagi felt like hugging the guy close to his chest again as he had done so before… when the very same guy broke down in the park… He knew Rukawa's silence meant things weren't going well for him yet. Yes, he had just been appointed new captain of Shohoku High's basketball team. A little earlier than expected, but he and the team were left with no other choice…

"Still thinking about _him_," Akagi had meant that to be a question, but the unspoken answer was so clear that the words instead came out as a statement of fact.

Another sigh, this time louder and more forceful was all that was heard from the younger guy. Akagi could almost feel the desolation within what he used to think was a callous heart. The pain… The misery… The pressure of being tasked with a responsibility he had least wanted to have especially after--

"Captain," the quiet voice cut through his thoughts, and subsequently seeped through his soul. He turned to look at the other guy and found himself once again drowning in the emotion dwelling in those beautiful blue orbs. That of yearning… Of a desperate longing… "Hold me."

The statement came as a plea, yet manifesting an authority that Akagi found himself unable to ignore. His arm instantly coiled around the younger guy's shoulders and pulled the warm, slender body close. Rukawa leaned against him and sighed complacently.

That was when he realized how good it felt to have him close. How perfectly that lithe, muscular body fitted his. That was when he knew and finally recognized the fact that this was the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life… 

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"Akagi," the call sounded distant, far off, yet so real. "Takenori Akagi!" His eyes suddenly snapped open at the sheer harshness of the voice and he suddenly found himself sitting in a huge lecture hall with a triple dozen pair of eyes staring and frowning intently at him. He could even hear the faint sound of snickers behind him but only had a second to bother about them before the enraged professor appeared in front of his desk. He then realized this was the excruciating present and he had just been dreaming of the glorious past…

"Care to answer my question?" the professor snarled tauntingly. "Or are you too sleepy to stay for the rest of my class?"

The snickers all but grew louder much to Akagi's growing discomfort and annoyance. It had been three days since he last saw his Kae-chan and he had since then been having trouble controlling his temper. If this didn't stop soon enough, he just might end up bawling all these stupid people's heads from off their necks.

"S-Sensei," he heard Kogure stammer beside him. "He's not been having enough sleep lately, so--"

"So…? That's supposed to calm me down?" The professor regarded Akagi with a scrutinizing frown that nearly nettled the already fuming guy to a violent frenzy. The old, bespectacled man ended up shrugging after a while before saying, "You're excused from the class today, Mr. Akagi."

Akagi eased up a little and could've even smiled, had not the frisky professor added, "But you're not sleeping tight tonight yet since I expect you to pass a ten-page essay on Shakespeare tomorrow morning. Typed and double-spaced. Understood?"

Half of the class hooted while the other nicer half looked pitifully at him. He sensed Kogure was about to speak up in his defense again and quickly overrode him by saying a low, submissive "Hai," before gathering his things up and stalking out of that blasted class in a hurry. DAMN, who cared about Shakespeare when he still had Kaede to bother about?

He made his way down the hall a little too hastily, mind all set on one determined purpose. It had been three days. Three long days that he had to suffer the throe of not having even a momentary sight of his beloved. How dare these old folks make life so hard for the two of them! This wasn't the first time he felt so hurt… so agonized… And he had even expected himself to pull through after a while, but unlike before, he just knew he couldn't live this one down. He needed to see his Kae-chan… And he needed to see him now…

"Hold me," the quiet plea echoed through his head over and over like a recalcitrant wind in autumn, making him more desperate than ever to once again feel that warm, slender body against his own…

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==tbc== 

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A/N: And so I ended up introducing more non-conventional pairings that I really find interesting--and I hope you'll be open to accept too ^____~


	3. Chapter Two: Captains Don't Cry

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A/N: Gomen nasai… I know it takes me forever to update my stories, and I'm really ashamed of myself because of that. -.-;;;;; I can be really lazy and indolent at times, but I am never one to just abandon something and leave it hanging unfinished in the air forever. I hope you be able to tolerate me until the last period of this fiction. I really appreciate the time you spend on this humble fic of mine and I'm really doing everything I can [despite my grueling scheds and recurring laziness] to keep all my stories going. I wouldn't be doing this if not for you, so thank you very much, minna! ^______^

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CHAPTER TWO: CAPTAINS DON'T CRY 

He didn't know what came over him when he did that thing. All he had intended to do was tell him how he felt... **_what_** he really had in his heart for him. He didn't really mean to resort to such... drastic measures.

"Rukawa, you creep!" that exclamation of mixed anger and shock rang through his ears--a resounding echo of the past he couldn't wipe off his memory. "What do you think you're doing?!?"

Stunned and bewildered by the sudden rush of memory through his semi-conscious mind, Rukawa practically fell off his chair upon feeling the rough shove that had accompanied that burst of wrath. He had expected that kind of reaction from the shorter guy but it still stung to actually have it erupting to his face... Crushing his heart with the strength of a thousand cataclysmic senses... Wounding his callow heart with the cruel bluntness of **_rejection_**.

He even had trouble keeping the usual impassive expression on his face and nearly surrendered to the pain that instantly ground his heart and that which turned its shattered pieces into the tears that were struggling to escape his eyes. That was exactly what he had wanted to do at that very moment--**_cry_**. Like the way he had seen his senpai do in the rain. After all, he now shared the same emotions as were in that guy's heart. 

The same kinds of emotion as his Captain...

Rukawa grunted in utter annoyance and frustration as he abandoned the easy chair at the corner of his bedroom and made his way in plodding steps to the sliding glass doors screening his lair from the raging storm outside. It had been raining like hell for three days now. Three long days that he had to suffer like a quarantined criminal inside this cell, watching as big, fat drops of flaccid crystals incessantly sluiced down from the frenzied black clouds hanging above the whole district of Kanagawa. He found it rather amusing for a while--how each drop lashed on the cold, solid glass as though attempting to break it down to help him out… Or how they fail in their noble task and instead end up forming frustrated puddles on the marble floor of his balcony….

But that amusement--having been coerced for lack of a better pastime--was understandably short-lived. After just three days of its company, its resoundingly hollow company, Rukawa found himself cursing the rain. Each staccato thump of fruitless strife was starting to get to his nerves and he suddenly felt the urge of breaking the glass to shards with his own bare fists to stop the unrehearsed rhythm of the persistent driblets.

The rain didn't seem to be on his side after all. It was slowly turning into a merciless nemesis, all bent to crash him deeper into the pits of absolute agony. The sorrow that he had been trying for days to revoke…

A pale, slender hand shot up and pressed against the icy glass still being battered by the tiny, yet vicious whips of nature. If the rain really wanted to help him, then how come it looked so fierce and cruel to him now? It seemed to be mocking him… Goading him… **_Scaring _**him… Even though he was nestled in the safety of his commodious room, alone and secluded from the rest of the world, he felt like a little kid lost in a crowd of strangers… Bare and unprotected… Possessing not a single hope of ever bridging the terrifying distance between him and the person he had trusted with his life. 

His physical body may be safe, but his spirit was nearing total breakdown.

And it didn't help that the rain kept on pushing a **_certain_** memory into his mind. The memory of that time when he failed to protect the person he had wanted to defend from all the infernal assaults of this hellish life. The one and only being he had hoped with all his heart to harbor in the safety of his arms.

The love that he never really had…

Rukawa's hand balled into a trembling fist against the glass as he closed his eyes and tried yet again to ward the recurring images from off his head. The trick would've worked for him in the past two days, but right at that very moment, amidst his overwhelming depression and the pouring rain, his luck seemed to have ran short of stability as it failed miserably to hold its barriers, thus resulting in an onslaught of tormenting memories.

It was on a rainy night like this one… The scenes came as clearly as a theatrical flick to his head. Reeling on from the time he saw that girl dump his captain to when he approached the short, wailing guy, who was pouring out his frustrations--all his agonizing pain--to the unyieldingly hard ground. That guy's fists were already bleeding profusely the moment Rukawa kneeled down beside him and cradled his sobbing head to his chest. For a few moments, they stayed like that, amidst the pouring rain… His Captain mumbling and sobbing like a little kid while he pressed that lovely tanned face as hard and warm as he could against himself… Against his heart which was beating out the undying, unrelenting rhythm of his arcane love--

It was his first real contact with somebody who meant the world to him… It was his first real definition of bliss… Of love…

Yes, LOVE and BLISS came to him in a rush at that very moment. They devoured him whole the moment he held his Captain **_that_** close… The very moment he accepted his feelings--disturbing and *bizarre* as it may seem--for **_that_** certain guy…

For… Ryota Miyagi…

A ferocious lightning streaked the dusky horizon, followed subsequently by a rumbling thunder echoing through the heavens. Rukawa opened his eyes slowly as the reminiscence of bygone days kept seeping into his mind. As wild and turbulent as the onslaught of raindrops on the glass doors, each fragment left a mark of desolation trailing down the hyaline borders of time and space. 

The borders that were once again holding him back from his happiness…

The embittered kitsune's gradually blurring gaze traveled down the bolted doors in rapt pursuit of a bulky drop forming an evanescent river down the glass. Another bolt of nature's wrath illuminated the night as the threatening orchestra of the passing storm pealed in the distance. 

"Rukawa, you creep! What do you think you're doing?!?" The enraged exclamation filled his head once again. The pitch and intensity seemed to match that of the din rolling in the heavens. It had been almost a year ago but he still could not forget that night. It was just as wet and stormy as tonight. Just as cold and excruciating… Oh the agony of it all!

It was on a night like tonight that he had hoped to beget the affection of that guy… And it was on that night as well that he had lost him for good. 

Or… did he?

After witnessing the complete deterioration of his Captain's pride and ego and comforting him in the rain as quietly yet as consolingly as he could, Rukawa decided to take the tormented guy to a place where he could somehow unwind and forget about his heartache for a while… A tavern where all kinds of human species gathered every night to try and have some fun despite their shitty lives. There, they could drown out all their aches and frustrations in music, alcohol… and even _sex_. Yes, some people would indeed go **_that _**far to enjoy the night--their only chance of escape from the infernal offerings of daylight. 

It was Mitsui-senpai who took him there for the first time. It seemed to be just a casual invitation--nothing serious or anything--until the former suddenly began bawling in front of him and his tall glass of cola. Rukawa had simply stared on and watched as the older guy gulped down his fifth bottle of beer while spitting out the story of his heartbreak in between sobs. It turned out that his girlfriend, whom he loved to the highest peak of heaven, had just broken up with him. And to add in his misery, his good friend, Kiminobu Kogure, had just confessed his love for him while in the course of comforting him in his sorrow. This in turn riled Mitsui up and drove him to blindly beat Kogure--the homophobic freak that he was--until the poor, bespectacled guy was all sore and bleeding, he couldn't even utter a single word to make the utterly freaked ex-gangster stay.

Mitsui left the guy in that condition to search for a better companion and saw Rukawa aimlessly cycling around the neighborhood, obviously in need of some diversion himself… And in a few minutes, they were there at one corner of the bar, trying to give each other comfort over several bottles of beer and a glass of untouched cola. 

"I was telling him he's not gay! He couldn't possibly be gay!" Mitsui sputtered in wrath, disappointment, annoyance, and the like--he was obviously provoked, of course, how else should a guy like him feel? "I tried to force that fact into his puny brain, but he just won't listen to me!"

And, yeah, Rukawa could tell what kind of drastic procedure that riley guy had used to "force that fact" into his friend's "puny brain". If he had been in Kogure's place, what Mitsui did could've only triggered his belief in the fact that the older guy was trying to revoke. Kogure-senpai had never been one to perform his part in a physical bout to the fullest of his ability. Not that he couldn't, but he just didn't want to. He was an extremely peaceful person who most often ended up beaten to a pulp. And having his friend pound at him like that-- Rukawa could almost feel how weak, and helpless, and **_gay_** that guy could've felt.

He was, after all, having doubts about his own sexuality at that time. So, he should know…

Two months quickly passed after that incident. Mitsui and Kogure were able to settle their differences somehow, gradually brought their **_intimacy _**to a much higher plane and eventually became a couple. He was hoping to get the same kind of luck when he took Miyagi-senpai to that place. But some people were just not destined to be so lucky…

__

Creep. That was what Miyagi-senpai had called him before pushing him away as though he had suddenly grown leper groves on his skin. Rukawa himself was stunned by his own action. Who would've thought that he, Kaede Rukawa, a certified walking Ice Block and uncaring twerp, would actually gain enough guts and cheekiness to lean in and plant a light, almost cautious kiss on the beer-smeared lips of his Captain? And not yet sated by the fruition of his fleeting insolence, he even went for another contact--this time deeper and more passionate. His hungry tongue demanding entrance into the tasty cavern… Ravenously devouring its natural sweetness mixed with the warm, bitter taste of alcohol.

Miyagi was dazed for a few seconds. He wasn't even struggling as the taller guy pressed him against the cold mirror at the men's comfort room while he kept his wanton exploration of his mouth. Rukawa didn't care about the thought of getting caught in such an awkward situation anymore. They would've looked normal to any passers-by anyway as compared to the couples shamelessly making out right in the middle of the bar.

He was already giddy with happiness and almost fainted when Miyagi suddenly began responding to his ministration, a little reluctant at first but his tongue was soon clashing with that of the younger guy's, possessing the same kind of intensified passion. 

The blissful heaven lasted but a few seconds more until a sudden realization hit the tipsy Miyagi. Rukawa saw how the older guy's eyes flared when he pulled his lips off and cried angrily to his face. Saw how his face turned red as he pushed him away… How his body trembled as he stormed off-- That was the worst part of all. Miyagi-senpai just went off without even punching him or kicking him or doing any other violent stuff to him. He just ran off, and on the following days acted like nothing had happened that night. And as though that wasn't tormenting enough, he even seemed to have also forgotten that Kaede Rukawa ever existed. 

At basketball practice, he never passed the ball to him anymore. Never told him off when he intentionally committed a mistake. Never even glared at him or inwardly cursed at him… Needless to say, that was the most scathing blow for the kitsune. He would've liked it better if the guy had beaten him up instead of ignoring him like that. At least by being a punching bag, he could've somehow helped ease the guy's frustrations and sorrow. 

All he had ever wanted at that time was to hold the guy in his arms. Possess him… Protect him… Love him… Was that too much to ask? Did that necessarily make him gay? He had spent considerable amounts of time everyday observing his captain, learning his moves, trying to unravel every mystery that was **_him_**. He knew that despite his tough appearance, his usual happy smile, Miyagi hid a lot of fears and drags within his heart. Rukawa could tell, 'coz he was just like him. That was why he wished to comfort him, to sympathize with him. But he had been a little too rash that instead of getting close, he ended up scaring the poor guy away.

All he wanted was to keep him close. To keep him safe and warm. And heaven tell him, was that so bad?

Rukawa's hand slipped down the glass as another grunt escaped his throat. Not wishing to see more of the storm outside, he turned around and leaned his back against the glass, sliding against it gradually until he was slumped like a wretched pauper on the floor. His noble battle at keeping his tears at bay was nearing defeat as the harrowing reminiscence kept on… 

He had wanted to make a move--any kind of move to somehow win the guy's acquaintance back [not that they were ever acquainted, anyway!]. He just didn't know how he could do so without stirring that guy to anger and thus attract unnecessary public attention. He was hoping to once again catch the guy in a vulnerable state, but Miyagi didn't seem to be minding his current heartbreak anymore. It did look as though he had completely forgotten about it, until Rukawa accidentally overheard his senpai's conversation with the redheaded do'ahou right after practice. He had stopped short of entering the shower room and just **_listened_**…

"You're really one tough guy, Ryo-chin!" Sakuragi exclaimed amidst the loud thumping of water against the floor. "I've never seen you cry over that junior who dumped you last week! I would've killed myself if that were to happen to me!"

"Moron! Why the hell would I do that?" Miyagi snapped. "Basketball Captains don't do stupid things such as that, especially now that the Inter High is just a week away!"

"Hai! Hai! Wakaru! Wakaru!" Sakuragi's vexingly loud voice rumbled once again. "But it won't do you good to just keep it all to yourself! You do need to cry once in a while to--"

Miyagi's loud laughter instantly filled the room, shutting the redheaded dolt to stunned silence. "Hanamichi, you're really stupid! You're telling me to cry? ME? The tough, dauntless captain of the team? DAMN! And what would you people think of me then, huh? I bet you'll be first to laugh your ass off! Just knock it off, okay?"

There was a moment of silence during which the random beating of shower driblets against the floor were the only sounds that could be heard from the room. Deeming it safe to finally enter, Rukawa was about to turn the knob when Miyagi's soft, yet firm voice suddenly spoke up, uttering a statement that was to be one of those to stay in the Kitsune's heart forever…

"Captains don't cry. They're not supposed to." 

He had let his hand slip off the knob and didn't bother to protest even as his feet, which seemed to have grown brains of their own, deftly turned his whole body around to head back home while still drenched in his own sweat. It never really occurred to him that Miyagi had lied to his best friend that night. It wasn't a lie after all. When he saw the guy crying on school grounds a week earlier, he didn't look half the tough, dauntless Captain he had just claimed to be. He was just… Ryota Miyagi. Spirit dampened… Heart broken… Tears profusely forming crystal snakes down his face… He was not the Captain then, he was just his weak, pathetic self… The battered self he had been hiding inside him all those while to make everyone believe he was feeling okay.

After that incident at the bar, Rukawa thought he would never see Miyagi ever again. That he would forever stay buried deep within the deceptive façade of the tough and dauntless Captain of Shohoku High's basketball team. He had actually come so close to giving up on him, until yet another stormy night, a few days before the Inter High district eliminations…

It was the night when Ryota Miyagi obliquely told him of his importance in his life. It was the moment Rukawa had been hoping and wishing for with all his heart and soul. And he should've been happy, right? Blissful… Ecstatic… Elated… If only it weren't the last time he would ever hold that guy in his arms. If only they were given enough time to build something **_more_** out of their newfound intimacy. 

If only he didn't have to go…

Rukawa brushed his hands through his hair and gulped back a sob as the rain continued to pour as wildly and abundantly as though this was going to be the last time it would ever graze the earth. That was exactly how hard he had cried on that night, and on the days and nights following that fateful incident. 

He had been in this kind of lonely plight when the guy who was to become his citadel of survival and forced existence came to his life… 

And now, **_he _**too, was being taken away from him. What reason did he have left to continue clinging to his life? The basketball team? This year's Inter High District Eliminations sure was drawing near, but had he not done his task for them already during the tournament last year? He was only a junior then, and yet he was made responsible [though totally against his will] for a bunch of fumbling players. Not to mention that it was only several days after the former Captain died in his very arms. He wouldn't have made it through it all, if not for Akagi-senpai who had constantly stayed beside him like a big brother ever since that incident at the park. And who eventually became his lover several weeks after that quiet, yet meaningful intimacy they had shared outside the bar. 

It was while they were watching the stars together that they slowly realized how perfectly they fit the missing puzzle piece in each other's heart. That was the moment Rukawa knew, that there indeed were a number of other reasons to keep living… To keep breathing… To keep loving. 

And all reasons had his Take-chan in it, but now that he's gone--

"Captain's don't cry," he mumbled under his breath as another thunder traced its presence on the nocturnal sky behind him. "They're not supposed to." But who could possibly blame him if he did? That night at the park, he was not yet the Captain, so he cried in his lover's arms without restraint. Ever since he became Captain, however, he tried to do what Miyagi-senpai had done. He buried his vulnerable self in the deceptive façade of the tough, dauntless Captain… The Captain who never cried… 'Coz he's not supposed to.

But the burden, the agony and the regretful sorrow continued to accumulate within his heart. No matter how hard he tried to suppress them, they never did yield in their struggle to flood his spirit with all their scathing, piercing force. Tonight, they seem to be working extra hard to make him feel miserable, and thus give up on his attempt to keep the tears at bay…

He was not feeling half the tough and dauntless Captain of Shohoku High's basketball team anyway. He had not been doing so in the past three days. He had just deigned himself back to the buried part of his being--the weak and helpless Kaede Rukawa. The lone fox who had once again lost in the game of love…

He felt the first tear form a cold streak down his cheek and buried his face to his knees as the opportune sobs of unspoken sorrow shortly followed. 

Outside, the maddening raindrops continued thrashing on the cold glass door…

****

==tbc== 

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Hey! You've made it this far! Arigatou gozaimasu for reading my fic! Mind leaving a review? Thanks!! ^_____^


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